The Tool Belt

Whenever I see a tool/utility belt I always think "Wow, that person must be useful," and then I wonder on in my head about all the wonderful things they could do. Batman had a utility belt- look how awesome he is! And in comparison to all the other "heroes" out there, Batman does kick a lot of ass considering he doesn' have a super power... just that brilliant amazing Utility belt.  If a lesbian wore a tool belt, she'd be equipped with the latest orgasmo gear, right at her hips, ready to go-- no fumbling to the side of the bed to see what else she could use. Heheh... and me... if I had that belt... hm.

For the longest time, I felt like if I had that tool belt with an assortment of useful items, I'd suddenly be more powerful. I'd have unlocked some secret and have the magical item to fight off anything that might stand in my way. There's a bump in the road? Well, I have a hammer. You've got a screw loose? Well I have just the screw driver for that! I'd have the confidence I needed to carry out everything during the day. I'd suddenly be looked at like I was hard working and sexy (because tool belts are SEXY). And I could say "Fuck you" with attitude and they wouldn't know what to say any more, because I was all belt- like a special shield or armor. Because a tool belt is more than a belt full of tools, it's the way you walk suddenly, the way you talk, the way you defend your self, the way you are.

I'd day dream about the day I was bumped up from Cleaning to Maintenance... The day I would be able to respectably wear that tool belt. And here I am! I'm the maintenance girl, but without a belt for now. Right now I'm more or less just carrying around a laptop bag full of tools and screws like a gay carpenter. However... at the end of the month after my first pay day as a Maintenance gal... I will be able to purchase that tool belt.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I'm GOING TO GET A TOOL BELT!!!!

=D

Which is # 25 on my bucket list. :P